A Work In Progress

Dear Marilyn,

Every time I look at you, I believe I was blessed with a miracle. Even though you were diagnosed with ASD, I will always look at you the same way I have when you were first placed in my arms. I will always accept you the way you are. I will love you unconditionally.

A lot have things have changed since I last wrote you. You are done with Preschool and going to be entering Kindergarten in the Fall. Your Preschool teacher adores you. Everybody at school thinks you are hilarious. They also think you are very fun to be around. It is true, you are one of the greatest people I have ever met. You are doing well in speech therapy and occupational therapy. You are a very intelligent child. Everybody that meets you always tells me that you are a very smart girl. I just smile because I have always known that you are.

Some other things have also changed. The people I thought were going to be in our lives forever, aren't. At first it tore me up inside, but now I've come to realize that it's their loss. I thought that family would always be there for one another, but as soon as a child is diagnosed with autism, that isn't the case. I found out  who was really there for our family. It's sad that my family won't ever get to know the special little girl that I know. It upsets me to cut off those people, but when someone in your own family says something so insulting to you about your child, you do what's best. Especially when they barely see you. My family never really got to know you. I feel like they didn't even really want to know you. They acted annoyed every time we saw them. I thought cutting them out of my life was a good decision. If I don't stand up for you, no one will. I have to be your advocate. I have to protect one of the most important people in my life. If they don't like it, that's their problem.

It's okay, baby, because they are missing out on you. They will never get to share the laughs we get from you. They will never get to share the tears we have whenever we are proud of you. They won't know your favorite movies, TV shows, or music, but that's okay. Your real family knows you.

Although my family isn't in the picture anymore, there is your Dad's family. They have always been there for you, no matter what. They know everything about you. They don't find you annoying at all. They understand how you are. They wouldn't change you for the world. Although Mommy has lost a family, she has also gained one. If it wasn't for Daddy's family, we wouldn't have anybody. I'm thankful that we have such great people in our lives.

Marilyn, you are special. No matter what people say, you are amazing. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

I love you.

-Your Mommy